Epic Weekend

I'll start by saying magpies are evil! And so are cows. So our epic adventure started with Keir totally slamming us at Monopoly, by a long shot. Then at around 3am Izak disappeared so I presumed he must have gone for his random walks but a few hours later when I dragged my duvet into the lounge to sleep there he was fast asleep on the couch. Turns out he'd had the same idea as me, the lounge is quieter hehe. Fast forward to Saturday at 10.15 and we were driving out to the loop track. Unsuspecting to us there were about 5 electric fences to cross, a herd of very angry cows that wanted to stamp all over our faces and one angry magpie who liked to scare the heck outta us. So after that ordeal we actually made it into the bush to look at the waterfall, from behind the safety barrier hehe. Being wise, we decided to bypass the cows and electric fences on the way back so we went around the long way only to find more electric fences. Even the tree stump was electric. Fenced in like cows we tryed numerous ways to escape and eventually got out. Forest pools was a lot more accommodating so we decided to have a picnic there and to go for a swim, when I say we I mean myself and Keir lol. The guys played happily chucking rocks into the river and trying to hit each others. It was pretty sunny most of the time and we had great fun body boarding down the rapids. We even had chips from Bills :-) The Garlic chips were a huge hit thanx bill!! After we got back from forest pools we decided to go to Rainbow Falls. Izak got decidedly Ninja'd and Keir Jumped the worlds biggest ditch xD We visited the stone store for a few minutes, to annoy some people trying to take pictures then went into KeriKeri. YAY playground time!!! "hehe its the Hanna run!" Theres this artwork thingy beside the playground and its a big tower of rocks so we decided it was a good photo oppertunity. Ariel was re-created like a million times inside a shell full of runaway property of drunken teenagers past. I even got a piggyback from Izak lol!! Good times. Dinner time was upon us so to Mc'Ds it was. A very very unfortunate incident happened here :-( Izak and his bag were parted. We werent aware of this unhappy fact until we reached the pools of Ngawha springs and a mournful cry was heard. So back to Kerikeri we went and thankfully an emotional reunion was seen. The bag was reunited with its owner and smiles were found all around. Even the Mc'D's staff were overjoyed to see such a happy ending. So, back to OWCOWHOW totally exhausted they packed up their car and with hugs all around they left for Auckland. Izaks famous last words "Hanna, I love chocolate!!". They are the best friends ever!! And I miss them already. Cant wait to see them again. Love you guys!!

Going back home

Im back up North as of Saturday night and its only Wednesday night and already Iv had more than a few run ins with my sister. I was kinda apprehensive about coming home cos this always happens. I start thinking of the past and then I get in fights with my sister and end up feeling as depressed as ever. My latest worry is am i forgettable? Or am i a rubbish friend? and do people have respect for me? Cos today, I mentioned I want to do a sky dive for charity and absolutely no one seemed to think I could do it or was capable of organising it. In fact they didnt seem in the least bit interested. This is my own family, I quite often feel like Iv drifted apart from them and I dont know where I fit anymore. I come home for holidays and I feel like Im a spare part. My best friend loves me, I know but sometimes I feel like an annoyance and when I come home Im forgotten. All this spare time leads me to dwell on my one hugely failed relationship that ended so badly I couldnt have created a worse ending in a story book. My whole room reminds me of him, and my question is how come he gets away thinking he's awesome and he's totally moved on and I get to be the one left in tears? I find it really hard coming home these days and organizing next year is totally stressing me because I want to get organized but I feel like Im hassling my best friend who Im moving in with but I need to get dates organised because mum and dad get mad otherwise. It feels like all the progress I make when Im at uni counts for nothing up here. I want to make mum and dad proud but I never feel good enough. Thats why I stress so much about getting every last detail right. Plus getting the balance right of seeing my parents and sister and study and keeping in touch with my friends and taking time for myself is hard. I worry so much some days I need sleeping tablets just so I can switch off enough to get some sleep. I wish so much that at least one person would have sounded genuinely enthusiastic about my fundraiser. I just want one person to have confidence in me. I can do it. Lol that must be the most depressive blog Iv written. Apologies to anyone who reads it. Had to be said though.