Epic Weekend

I'll start by saying magpies are evil! And so are cows. So our epic adventure started with Keir totally slamming us at Monopoly, by a long shot. Then at around 3am Izak disappeared so I presumed he must have gone for his random walks but a few hours later when I dragged my duvet into the lounge to sleep there he was fast asleep on the couch. Turns out he'd had the same idea as me, the lounge is quieter hehe. Fast forward to Saturday at 10.15 and we were driving out to the loop track. Unsuspecting to us there were about 5 electric fences to cross, a herd of very angry cows that wanted to stamp all over our faces and one angry magpie who liked to scare the heck outta us. So after that ordeal we actually made it into the bush to look at the waterfall, from behind the safety barrier hehe. Being wise, we decided to bypass the cows and electric fences on the way back so we went around the long way only to find more electric fences. Even the tree stump was electric. Fenced in like cows we tryed numerous ways to escape and eventually got out. Forest pools was a lot more accommodating so we decided to have a picnic there and to go for a swim, when I say we I mean myself and Keir lol. The guys played happily chucking rocks into the river and trying to hit each others. It was pretty sunny most of the time and we had great fun body boarding down the rapids. We even had chips from Bills :-) The Garlic chips were a huge hit thanx bill!! After we got back from forest pools we decided to go to Rainbow Falls. Izak got decidedly Ninja'd and Keir Jumped the worlds biggest ditch xD We visited the stone store for a few minutes, to annoy some people trying to take pictures then went into KeriKeri. YAY playground time!!! "hehe its the Hanna run!" Theres this artwork thingy beside the playground and its a big tower of rocks so we decided it was a good photo oppertunity. Ariel was re-created like a million times inside a shell full of runaway property of drunken teenagers past. I even got a piggyback from Izak lol!! Good times. Dinner time was upon us so to Mc'Ds it was. A very very unfortunate incident happened here :-( Izak and his bag were parted. We werent aware of this unhappy fact until we reached the pools of Ngawha springs and a mournful cry was heard. So back to Kerikeri we went and thankfully an emotional reunion was seen. The bag was reunited with its owner and smiles were found all around. Even the Mc'D's staff were overjoyed to see such a happy ending. So, back to OWCOWHOW totally exhausted they packed up their car and with hugs all around they left for Auckland. Izaks famous last words "Hanna, I love chocolate!!". They are the best friends ever!! And I miss them already. Cant wait to see them again. Love you guys!!

Going back home

Im back up North as of Saturday night and its only Wednesday night and already Iv had more than a few run ins with my sister. I was kinda apprehensive about coming home cos this always happens. I start thinking of the past and then I get in fights with my sister and end up feeling as depressed as ever. My latest worry is am i forgettable? Or am i a rubbish friend? and do people have respect for me? Cos today, I mentioned I want to do a sky dive for charity and absolutely no one seemed to think I could do it or was capable of organising it. In fact they didnt seem in the least bit interested. This is my own family, I quite often feel like Iv drifted apart from them and I dont know where I fit anymore. I come home for holidays and I feel like Im a spare part. My best friend loves me, I know but sometimes I feel like an annoyance and when I come home Im forgotten. All this spare time leads me to dwell on my one hugely failed relationship that ended so badly I couldnt have created a worse ending in a story book. My whole room reminds me of him, and my question is how come he gets away thinking he's awesome and he's totally moved on and I get to be the one left in tears? I find it really hard coming home these days and organizing next year is totally stressing me because I want to get organized but I feel like Im hassling my best friend who Im moving in with but I need to get dates organised because mum and dad get mad otherwise. It feels like all the progress I make when Im at uni counts for nothing up here. I want to make mum and dad proud but I never feel good enough. Thats why I stress so much about getting every last detail right. Plus getting the balance right of seeing my parents and sister and study and keeping in touch with my friends and taking time for myself is hard. I worry so much some days I need sleeping tablets just so I can switch off enough to get some sleep. I wish so much that at least one person would have sounded genuinely enthusiastic about my fundraiser. I just want one person to have confidence in me. I can do it. Lol that must be the most depressive blog Iv written. Apologies to anyone who reads it. Had to be said though.

As Promised...

Heya!!! Im at home so its time to update this poor unloved blog of mine. I just love uni holidays. 5 whole weeks and just one exam, perfect. On a sadder note my dog chico had to be put down this week. Digging his grave is the saddest thing I have ever done. He is resting in peace now with a few of his fave teddys. Poor Tara our other dog isnt so happy now :-( Dad wants to get another dog but mum isnt so keen. I so am though. A husky would be good or a german shepard. I'm still at uni!! So thats nearly 4 whole months I've stuck at it and havent changed my mind. For those of you who know that was a slight tendancy of mine, it isnt any more!! I am still loving anthropology and am keen to go to Nepal to research womens place in society over there. I'm finished my extra Buddhism course that I took and loved totally! I made a lot of new friends and the Buddhist monk that taught it was brilliant. I learnt a lot about happiness which comes in handy when I have 4 assignments due, 2 tests and money to worry about. It's so nice being home. Proper food, mum doing my laundry everyday, sleeping in and peace and quiet! When I head back to uni on the 9th I have the Taupo trip to look forward to (YAY!!!!!!!) I'm also gonna be studying womens gender studies which im totally amped for. My friend and next door neighbour has left the country though so that deserves a huge sad face. I was just getting to know her. We even cried while watching Titanic. Thats a bonding experience right there. I'm enjoying living in the halls even though sometimes I want to be anywhere but there. I've enjoyed experiences such as being paper mached, having a bath with like 5 or 6 other people, trying to skateboard down stairs and many other random things. It can get lonely at times even with heaps of others around though. Good job I bought a moon hopper to keep me occupied during those times. It's got dora the explorer on it which my friend KC just loves hehe. I educate her in all things child like including making her watch little einsteins the whole way through while singing the theme song very loudly. Uni has been a huge learning experience so far and thats just one semester. I have learnt not to get so drunk you arent in control anymore, lock my door everytime i leave or Marcus will steal something just to prove a point, people often arent who you think they are, dont go on first impressions, keep up with your readings, life is damn hard sometimes!! I am still single and I have learnt that I am probably better off single for the next few years at least. I already have a quite well developed feminist attitude and am getting extremely tired of immature guys thinking they are god so I definately dont want to use up any energy wasting my time dealing with their still developing emotions. It reminds me of a term in anthropology, celestialasation. If people dont like a ruler they can kill that person but if the ruler was appointed by god then they have to abide by the ruler because you cant kill god. I can't kill every male that annoys me, not because they were appointed by god but because theyre so deluded in thinking theyre god you would be hard pressed to convince them otherwise and even if i killed them, their ego would live on. Thats just how huge some guys egos are. K, so Ill stop with the feminist rant for now. I have to add that there are probably good guys out there in fact I know there are cos i know a few but to the ones that arent, you could learn a few things from the good guys. I'm so excited for the Taupo trip that we have planned. We get to star gaze!!! Better not be cloudy. I'm also excitecd for church tomorrow because I havent seen all my friends there since early February which is way to long so to see them all again will be so nice :-) I think this ramble has been sufficiently long enough to be considered an update, right Izak? So until the next time I manage to remember I have a blog c ya laters!!

New Year... New Start

Wow its been a long time since I updated this thing. To be honest, I forgot I even had one. So its May now and iv been at Waikato University since February and Im still here!! Third time lucky. Im majoring in anthropology and minoring in Human Development. Who knows where thatll get me but my aim is to do something women related like protecting and sticking up for women. I am now single since Feb as well. So learning to be me again is proving to be a huge challenge but im sure itll be worth it in the end. I take each day as it comes as anything else seems to be a bit overwhelming. Um im pretty tired so ill update it more soon!!

Change..... Again

Uni in.. Nepal out. Another change of my mind but its made up this time I promice. Iv applied and everything. Time to move on. Im still working at the computer shop and its been going ok due to a change of shops. My manager is lovely haha. She buys us chocolate coffee even. Not much else has been happening. I have discovered that primary school playgrounds are extremly inspirational and lead to great decisions. Shame its raining, the slide will be all wet :-( lol. I wonder what the playgrounds in Auckland are like? The llamas are back!!! In the field with lots of little baby llamas hahaha. I drive past them everyday and stop and watch them and giggle in the car. Anzac Day today, i reckon its raining cos the earth is mourning the loss of all the soldiers. I got a poppy but cant figure out how to pin it to my clothes with out stabbing myself everytime I lean forwards haha. Hmm yea... and thats about it XD

Im not so sure

I have a job!!! Its working in a computer shop. My first week was a nightmare and couldnt have been any worse so Im hoping this week will be different. Its all for Nepal so thats what im keeping in mind. Im still hoping to go in September and come back mid december. Mt Everest here I come. Its hard but im hoping itll get easier as I get more experience. I live for lunch times and home time and weekends hahaha. Its hard been shut up in doors all day so i go out at lunchtimes to get fresh air, well as much fresh air as a town can offer anyways. I miss my friends but hopefully Ill see them at some stage. Its all about visualisation i reckon. Just dont let your dreams get clouded over by everyday life and itll be alright. I cant wait to go to the airport and get on the plane to Nepal. Life has changed and I guess thats ok itll just take a bit of getting used to. From school to been unemployed for like 5 months to employment haha its a lot of change. Plus the longer days are taking some getting used to. At 3pm its like yay home time but then u have to think twice and go no its not. And balancing time is another thing I have to learn how to do. Like spending time with family and friends and work and getting outdoors its all gotta have its time. At least the get a job lectures from mum and dad have stopped haha. Its getting colder now as well. I wanna get out tramping like a 3 day tramp before it gets all rainy and cold. Thats just no fun lol. Oh well, i shall keep dreaming and i know theyre all gonna come true.

A new beginning

Typical to my changable nature I have changed my plans for this year yet again. I am no longer going to university and am saving hard to go to Nepal in September to work in an orphanage then go trekking. Living my dream will be so cool. Iv always wanted to go there and see everything and experience the culture. Couldnt go to uni without fufilling this dream first. So I am job hunting currently and sitting my restricted test on Wednesday so lots of driving practise first hehe. My patience is certainly being tried. Getting there though and its certainly time I did it. It was a hard decision not to go to uni cos nearly all my friends are going but i think in terms of my personality and all that uni wasnt the place for me to be this year, not the right time really. Im visulising getting on the plane in September from Auckland and sitting watching the clouds out of the window as I get closer to my dream. In the meantime Im enjoying the sunshine and searching for that elusive job. Itd be cool if i passed my driving test, could drive to the forest anytime I wanted, provided I had the time hehe. So yea, a whole new year is just about to happen and Im glad I finally admitted I didnt want to go to uni afterall. Got my exam results back last week as well, did way better than id expected and i still maintain they are sumone elses results and not mine. English and geography were my best subjects. Bio, the one paper i did wasnt so good hehe but i dont mind cos it wasnt one of my strongest subjects to start with. I tired my best and thats good enough for me in the long run. Life has taken a change for the better and i feel like im finally doing what I want to do and that makes me extremly happy. Ciao for now peoples. Keep dreaming and living them.